Trap

I heard sounds of clinging keys and locked door.

It's completely dark in my room.
I suddenly find myself wondering what was it exactly that woke me?
I'm not sure if it is the sudden change of light to dark room or the sound of locking doors woke me.

I heard familiar voices downstairs. I fumble around for my phone... found it..
Checked the time. It says 10.05pm. I've only been asleep for an hour.

I still feel sleep in my eyes, but suddenly thoughts just come flooding in my mind.
Why did she go out at this time? Was there something going on?
Mamak. No, nothing is going on. The calm voice answered.

Okay then. That's good.

But I still tossed a turned in bed. I can't seem to get back to slumber land.

My mind is racing. All kinds of thoughts come in.

I almost listen to some accusing thoughts just now.
They were sharp. They were mean. Their voices are prickly and hurt.
It says
"It's your fault. You did this. You made her upset."
"She's angry"
"You're such a lousy leader"

What made me felt torn was that I knew I did nothing wrong. My concious was clear.
Still, I almost believe those thoughts.

But then, I paused.

This felt familiar. This whole situation of accusing thoughts in my head, I mean.

The last time I listen to those accusations, I fell to the lowest point in my life.
Never again.

Instead of feeling condemned and useless, I did something that both surprised and pleased myself until now..

My hands reached out to take hold of the heavy thick black book.
That book that is filled with wisdom and comfort.
The best selling book in the world.

Reading it, comfort and encouragement flows in.

Still unsatisfied, I asked for words of confirmation.

Turning on the laptop, clicking on Google Chrome's icon, I logged in Facebook.
One of the first few statuses I saw was this:

"If you hear a voice condemning you, its Satan, whose name means accuser. But when something inside you in encouraging you, and pointing out your good points, and makes you remember a bible verse, its the Holy Spirit!"

Immediately, I knew.
So glad I did not fall for the trap.
So glad I did not listen to those accusing thoughts.

Take that. I'm wiser now.