The Extended Family

I didn't know this, but I only come to realise that I am extremely missing, to the point of craving family reunion.

Not just a small family reunion with papa, mama, Kevin and Rachel. But the extended one, with Aunty, Uncles, Grandma and cousins.

I can't really remember the last time our family unite under one roof.

As a kid I would always look forward to these family events. I would count down to the days. I would force myself to finish all my homework before partying hard (kids style) with my cousins.

Recently I've had the privilege to stay with a friend's family. I had access to my friend's home. I saw all the happiness, love and joy in my friend's family. At first, I treated everything normally. I did my best to be polite and took in my new surrounding like a newcomer.
But day by day, I was introduced to more of my friend's family members, I was exposed to them more and I get to see the love they had for each other.

That feeling feels very familiar, but I couldn't grasp it completely.
I never knew this, but slowly, I realise that it was the same feeling I get when I was small, surrounded by my own extended family.

I close my eyes and try to remember all the details of my own family reunion.

There it is, the familiar sight of my grandparent's living room. The nostalgic orange tiles with extruding line are there.

The childhood sofa I used to sit on. Made out of thick wooden rattan, and furnished with those bouncy, thick cushions.

The chandelier inspired by Art Nouveau movement hangs in the middle of the living room. I always loved that chandelier my late grandpa installed, it gives out such orangey warm glow during our family reunions.

The big carpet lays in it's position in front of the television. That carpet always seem so grand to me as a kid. It is huge, highly decorated and heavy. From what I remember it is red and golden in colour. I would always dig my fingers in that carpet, tracing the floral design on it, until I am contented with my invisible drawing.

The entrance of my grandparent's house is a glass sliding door protected by the floral pattern metal gate. That same door welcomed me to the big family when I was a red little newborn.

I can picture everyone in my extended family in that living room now.
Grandpa would be sitting in the middle sofa with big aunty's husband, drinking wine, chatting and watching TV. My uncles would join the conversations. My aunties will usually be sitting on the decorative 2 steps stairs, watching the TV or talking to each other. They will be munching on peanuts or krupuk grandma had prepared. My mum usually joins her sister-in-laws to talk about her working life as a teacher or talk about us, her children. My dad will be with my uncles and his father, eating the snacks and watching telly.
For us, the cousins and grandkids, we would also be in front of the telly, but we're all spread out, sited on the carpeted part of the floor. We kids always makes the most noise, we would laugh, giggle and shout, but no grown ups would mind us. We would chase each other around the living room, making jokes and sometimes cuddle with our respective mothers. They allow us to be as noisy as we want during family reunions like this. That's what I miss most, I guess. Being a kid, in my grandparent's home, with my cousins.

All these that I describe would happened after dinner.
Dinner was another scenario altogether :)

There's always something intimate about having dinner with family in a round table. I only realise it today, after 21 years, 4 months and 1 day living on earth. How sad.
If only I realised it earlier, if only I knew earlier, I would've cherished the moments I have big family reunion dinners with my extended family.

I miss having good home cooked nonya food by my grandmother with the help of her daughters and daughter-in-laws. I miss the aroma of these food. I miss the atmosphere where grown ups would be at the big table and children would be at the small table. Most of all, I miss the warmth of these reunion dinners. I'm taking about the warmth you get in your heart when you feel loved, happy and contented.

Family reunions today are all so rare. The only time we get to come together as one is during Chinese New Year. Even then, sometimes, we are still not complete. Overseas studying, working and exams sometimes rob my off my reunion with cousins.

I guess the stay at my friend's house was a huge and real reminder to me of how long I have not had my own family reunion. I admire how his family is so close, so loving. I feel a small pang of jealousy. I want that too, but I know I won't be getting that anytime soon. And as much as I love my own family, as much as I would never exchange my them for anything, I still thought, how wonderful if I am related to this family. There's only one way, but that way seem absurdly crazy. So I did all I could, I smile and accepted what my friend's family offered me.

I closed my eyes and imagine of them as my own.