Hurting

We always think we're the only one in this world that's hurting.

Whenever something brings me down and there's pain in my heart, I cry.
I use to (and still do) think that crying would make me feel better. Tears are like streams that pours out all the anger, frustration and bitterness in me.

But sometimes I find myself wondering, how much do I have to cry to make the pain go away?

In every stages of this life I've lived, I always experience different kinds of pain.
Childhood pain would mean being scolded badly from parents. Being disciplined, grounded or confiscated.
Teenage pain would be discovering the crush has a love interest. Feeling rejected by 'friends'.
Adulthood? I'm not sure yet, I'm just stepping into it. I'll get back to you when I've been through it.

We always think we're the only one in the world that's hurting.

But that's far from the truth.

Today while sitting in the cab and being impatient about the crawling traffic, I look out of the window.
The sight that greeted me was as normal as what you'll usually see if you're stuck in the traffic..
Cars. This car next to my cab.

I saw a woman driver in a car. She looks like she's in her mid-30s. Working class adult. Slightly plump.
She was the only one in the car. She had the driver seat window down. Her right arm was supporting her head.
She looked tired and stressed. But who living and working in KL isn't?

At first glance I noted nothing out of the ordinary. But I felt something drawing me to keep my gaze on her.

Then I caught it. She was crying.
With her left arm, she uses her hands to wipe tears from her face.

I felt my heart broke a little. It was such an intimate and sad sight.
I never seen her in my life. She means nothing to me. I have no idea what cause her to be in tears.
So, why do I hurt too when I see her hurting?

Perhaps I felt like I know how she feels. All alone. Hurting. Feeling like no one sees her, no one cares.
But she was wrong.
I saw her, and immediately, I cared.

I wanted to comfort her.
I wanted to reach out to her and tell her not to cry anymore.
I wanted to tell her everything will be okay.
I wanted to hug her.

But I didn't, because I know she was alone in the car for a reason.

“When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them.

But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.” 

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

So I did all I could.
I whispered my wishes as a prayer and dedicated it to her.
I prayed that she will receive comfort very soon.
I prayed that she will learn of the everlasting joy, if she hasn't already.
I prayed that the people around her would show her kindness, love.
I pray for her to be strong.

She may not know this, but someone did care for her.