I've decided to chop off my previously long hair after toying with the idea for sometime.
I love observing the response I got. Noticed that while most people smiled and commented on the sudden shorten hair, a guy came up to me and asked "Why did you cut off your hair?" as if he were offended I cut my hair.
I love my long hair. I do. It's soft and fun to play with. It makes me feel girly. It gives me confidence.
But over the years, I felt that I let my hair define me. No, I should say I let my hair define my sense of beauty too much. I don't have to courage to cut off my hair before this because I don't want to look 'unattractive'. I don't want to feel the regret of cutting my hair short. I felt that my facial features weren't attractive enough to wear short hair.
But the moment I look in the mirror after getting the hair cut, I couldn't believe what I saw.
I saw a girl who is loved. I saw a radiant girl whose eyes shines out because her long locks wasn't taking away the attention. I saw a child of God, His princess to be exact. You would think it's crazy to see all that. But I can honestly tell you, I did. I saw that because for a split second, I understand that the hands that created the stars and sun created me, crafted my face, designed my body and at that moment I know I am not ugly nor will I ever be.
Isn't it funny how 'beauty' is defined by others?
Today a guy hinted to me that short hair wasn't attractive. But boy, was he wrong.
My shepherd used to say "Insecure people create insecure relationships."
She has seen the world more so when we talked about the topic on insecurities, it made me realize I had issues on insecurities too.
I always thought the main reason I wanted to cut my hair is because I wanted a change of style.
But behind my head, I know there's something more. If you know me, you'd know that I have struggled with issues of low self-esteem as a young teen, and behind my mind, the ideal beauty is a girl with porcelain skin and long hair. It never really left me. Perhaps this is a step of breakthrough on physical appearance.
I guess in the future I will have regrets whenever I see girls with longer nicer hair.
But whenever I do, I will come back to this post and read this, simply because I don't believe beauty needs to fulfill a list of requirements.
NOTE: I'm not saying every girl should have their hair cut short and if they don't, they are vain and obsess with their looks. NO. This is my personal struggle. This is just my story.
