Dear 31 year old Tammie:
Hello.
I've been meaning to write to you for a long time, I just never got around to it.
I want this to be a time capsule letter from past me to future me. Tonight marks the final moments of me being 21 years old, in a few more minutes, I will turn 22. How time flies.
Some might think it's silly to write to your future, because the future you will definitely be more experienced and wiser. But the main reason for me to do this is so that I can read this again on my 31st birthday and be reminded of the innocence and young persistence I am holding on to now.
I familiar of how time can dull even the hottest passion and rob away innocent thinking. I don't want that to happen to you. I want you to remember. Remember how you are when you are 21, when the world seem so big and the future so bright. Remember and learn to be a young soul, don't let the world make you hard.
Here are 2 main things I wanna remind you most today.
First, Tammie, never ever settle for second best and never jump into anything before the right time.
I know a time will come when you see friends around you starting a family. And by this age, if you haven't found him yet it will seem like a heavy burden to carry. But know that you are not carrying this burden alone. If you look to your left and right and see that it's empty, remember to look inside and know that you are fully occupied, look up to know that you are truly loved.
If your ministry is still something Father wants you to focus on now, please, don't mess up His timing just so you can feel better about yourself. Remember Matthew 6:33, love.
Now, if you are already attached or married. How is life? Remember how you used to wonder who that future husband is when you're a teenager? How is he like when he talks? How does he look like when he sleep? What about him makes you love him so?
I guess there will be fights and disagreements, but when that happens, go back to the first moments of falling in love.
Remember why you choose him. Remember how Father led you and him to be together.
I'm sure this love story is beautifully written, so don't give up when things seem hard.
Keep on going because you can be sure the one who created both of you is looking out for you guys.
Whenever you feel dry out or find it hard to love again, remember to draw love out of your account of ultimate love bank, from Father.
My prayer for you is that you will be preserved in righteousness at all times.
Secondly and lastly: Let go. Let God.
You, when you are me now (21 years old), experienced this just yesterday. And I believe this is the most powerful thing to help you breakthrough your bondage of holding on to resentments in relationships.
You got hurt yesterday.
You heard Father gently say "Let this negative feeling go. Don't hold on to this. Let me heal you"
But remember what you said?
You said "NO. I WANT TO BE MAD. LET ME BE ANGRY. I WON'T LET GO."
Oh stubborn little girl. How silly of you :'\
Right after saying that, you went on to worship Him, because everyone else was doing it.
When you enter into worship session, ALL of the evil thoughts were gone.
Just like that. Father made you see, even when you didn't want to.
You saw how insignificant that small hurt was. You saw how small the problem is. You saw how childish it was when you want to hold on to feelings that is capable of destroying a big beautiful relationship, just because of a small thing.
How beautiful was that. All your poisonous anger was just absorbed by Father. It was taken away even when you are unwilling to let go. Praise Him!
I guess that is all for now.
Tammie, don't stop doing Father's work. He will always be there for you. You are not your own, you are never alone. Always remember that.
with much love,
21 year old Tammie
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