Humbled

I saw the cake in the pantry when I was scanning images with the photocopy machine.. but I never thought it was for me. I thought it's for our client that's coming for the meeting.

5 minutes after that, Chitra called out "Tammie! Hurry, come to the conference room. Come, come." I jumped out of my seat because of the urgency in her voice, that's when I find the whole office empty. I kept asking 'What's going on?'. I saw the cake on the table, it just got me even more curious. This cannot be for me. What is really going on..?

They must have seen the completely weird expression on my face.

So once inside, lao ban niang offered the explanation. She said in her motherly tone, "We're here to wish you happy birthday, Tammie. We're one week late, but we still want to celebrate for you."

My face must have gone red. Light red at least.

Let me tell you why.

For the 2 months plus in the company, I've experienced 2 of my senior's birthdays. Both of them are great staffs and very much loved by my bosses. As a tiny intern, I have much respect for both of them. Both of their birthday are celebrated in the same way. An office celebration. We used the conference room. When the conference room is used, it means something big.

When my brain finally processed the fact that my boss allowed or even initiated this celebration for me.. me an intern in the company.. I am completely humbled.

Quah, one of my colleague, confirmed the big deal by saying "They usually don't care about interns, so this company is good to you."

I nodded my head vigorously.

Their mission seems at the moment seems to be: Make Tammie embarrassed by saying nice things about her in front of her. hehe.

Chun Wan, the cool 60+ bald biker aka Project Leader said "I can't wait for her to graduate so that she can come work here."

Mike, the cool guy with Hebrew tattoo on his arm aka the senior copywritter, joins in "We're doing all this so we can lure you back next time."

I wanted to shout "OH MY GOSH, PRAISE THE LORD. AM I REALLY THAT GOOD. STOP I DON'T DESERVE THIS. STHAP. IS IT BECAUSE OF MY ATTITUDE COS I KNOW MY SKILLS SUCKS. IF IT IS MY ATTITUDE THANK YOU LORD, MY WORK HERE IS DONE. NOW TAKE ME HOME."

But all jokes aside, yes I am truly touched they took out their time to sing a song and gather in the room for my sake. I am starting to hate the idea of leaving them.

But what I want to say the most is really, all glory goes to God.

During lunch with the colleagues today, Leng asked if I would stay if the boss asked me to. When I said the boss already did.. the whole table went 'Wah.' They then went on to talk about my portfolio. Lim noted that in this line, employers don't even look at cert (thank you very much, Uncle Lim) but KK said "It must be the attitude."

Wow.

It felt like God just poke a hole of 'DO YOU SEE NOW?' in my brain.

It explains so many things. Why I am still not sacked, why my colleagues are all so nice to me, why they want to protect me in some situations..

Honestly this is why I am writing this post.

Jotting everything down that reflects God's work and glory in my life.

I've faced many trials and challenges during this internship.

Just this morning, I broke down. In my heart, I was willing God to take me away, I've had enough.

But now I finally see it. My sovereign God is doing His work in me. I may not be smart enough to see it (I never pay much attention on my own actions).

Thinking back, I recall a few times when I feel troubled by work, this small comforting thought will come, saying "Keep on going, don't give up. It's not done yet."

Attitude. That's the key.

I'm feel so humbled and proud at the same time.

"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam..."