I got my heart crush was when a guy told me he did not like me the way I liked him.
The 14 year old me pretty much sank into depression.
I dreaded hearing his name, even though the sight of him still has the power to melt me into a puddle.
I resented him, deleted him off my msn list. Cut all contact with him, but every time I pass by him in school or anything relate to him, I slow down.
Yes sure the heart hurts, but the heart still yearns for it. Isn't it weird how we are all wired?
Thank God He was there to bring me out of it.
Although I didn't know it back then, I know something healed me. I grew better. I grew healthier.
Until one day, I realise I could go on with life without pausing at anything that reminds me of him.
This leads me to be overjoyed when I finally learn how much a creator love me.
I have been taught that Jesus loves me ever since I was 6 years old and attended Sunday school. But it NEVER occur to me His love is so pure. He doesn't hurt me like how some boys would. He wants a relationship with me unlike the relationship of this world. I never knew how practical this love is.
No guys in the world matter anymore.
I'm glad He revealed His love for me. I'm thankful, with all my heart, that I've gotten His revelation.
But time has an evil way of dulling things. I want to be excited for Your love all over again. I don't want to be distracted. I don't want to be sidetracked.
It's nice when a guy flirts with you. You feel like you're the only girl in the world.
It's nice when a guy gives you all the attention. You feel like you mean something.
It's nice to have these feeling of self-worth, but it's not nice when it's coming from the wrong source.
Boys are wonderful creatures. But they can be a distraction.
Why do we girls fall so easily for these things?
I'm sorry, not just any girls.
It's girls who already know You. Girls who are already your daughters.
We still fall for this. It doesn't feel right.
Aren't our identity in You? Shouldn't we already be contented with that?
What are we missing?
Sometimes the answer would be simply because we are just humans...
ReplyDeleteI always thank God for everything that I have faced because God's grace only works well in our weaknesses, whereby it will make us stronger and better in it. I have gone through similar things like that, that time I do not know the awesome God yet, so I have been suffering for quite some until I met Him. His grace is always sufficient and it can even overflow. :) Be contented with His agape love. Until one extend, I think we just so enjoy dwelling in His love. :D
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